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Bernie's Story - by Julie Keegan

It is so very difficult for me to sit here and write Bernie's story, as I still haven't fully accepted that he has gone. I have a strong belief that everything happens for a reason, but I am yet to find one for Bernie's untimely passing.

Bernie arrived here at Stovokor Stud in July 2004 at midnight, on a Darling Downs Horse Transport vehicle. I had been anticipating his arrival all day with such a sense of excitement - my first clydesdale! Since I was a small child I had wanted a clydesdale and it was hard to believe that he was finally going to be here.

He stepped off the truck, his white face glowing in the dark. He sniffed and snorted his way around his new paddock, and greeted us with a calm, gracious temperament. I felt immediately connected to him in some way, and he responded to me with the same sense of recognition. I felt indescribably happy that I finally had him here with me. He was very underweight, recovering from queensland itch, and head shy, but underneath all that, he was a precious, trusting soul who adored our company. From day one, he sought us out. He would stand at the back door of our house, peering into my office, watching me work. Patiently waiting for me to come and spend time with him during the day, or surprise him with some fruit bread, a muffin, or some peanut butter toast.

He tolerated ducks, dogs, cats, cows and even Gwennie [my broodmare] and her cranky outbursts at him for no good reason, at unpredictable moments. He was the most affable soul I had met, and he didn't hold grudges - which is unusual for any horse!

About a month after Bernie arrived here, I received his official papers from the Clydesdale Society. Bernie was born on my birthday! I had known there was some connection between us, and that cemented it. He was my soul mate by birth. I was firmly convinced that Bernie and I were meant to be together for a very long time. I even came to take for granted seeing him whereever I went, knowing that he was ready to do whatever I felt like doing on that particular day.

We did everything together. He taught me so many things, and he was very patient, ignoring my lack of skill in areas that he was a master. I decided I wanted to do dressage - Bernie endured the embarrassment of prancing around like a pony as I put him through his paces. He would run around in circles when I decided he needed a good spell of lunging. Good friends needed assistance mustering cattle - Bernie? Yep, no problem, I can do anything! He'd never mustered cattle before, but on those days you would never have known it, and he certainly convinced the cattle he knew what he was doing. Even when he was rudely accosted by two very cranky mares one one such day, he didn't lose his cool.

Visitors? Bernie's favourite! He loved nothing more than seeing a car load of people drive in for a visit. Children were particularly favoured. I'll never forget the time that the next door neighbour's dog hid underneath Bernie so that he didn't have to go back home and miss out on the fun! Or the time that he oversaw proccedings at a BBQ, deftly pinching lettuce from the salad bowl when he thought no-one was looking. One of my good friends will remember her 1 year old's first clydesdale kiss, as Bernie gently leaned in to her son's cheek.

Harness work? No problem! I acquired harness from various friends and others and fitted him out with a set of working harness, and had a slide purpose built so he could either drive me around the paddocks, or use the slide as a carrying platform. That was his forte. He seemed so at home in a collar and chains, pulling his custom made slide around the paddocks, delivering logs back to the house yard.

Then, on 10 September 2005, Bernie fell ill. He started to show signs of colic and I immediately had our very good friend Sarah from North Hill Veterinary Clinic come out to treat him. We started treating him for colic, drenching by stomach tube and even stabled him to feed 20 litres of IV fluids, hoping against hope that he would recover.

After 48 hours of struggling to save him using every method at our disposal, the decision was made that Bernie should suffer no more. It was likely he had an enterolith [like a gall bladder stone] which would have required surgical removal, and a very poor prognosis of a successful recovery. I made the decision that it was time for me to say goodbye to him. Sarah and I led him out into the back paddock, and I said a painful goodbye to him. I'll never forget him looking straight into my eyes as he fell to the ground - that look went straight to my heart. I laid with him in the paddock for an hour, cuddling up to him and telling him everything I needed to say, until I had the strength to return home.

 

It is hard to describe to someone who has never felt that kind of bond why it is such an enormous loss, and I struggle to find the words to explain it. He was my life, he was my soul mate, and he took away a huge chunk of me when he left. He was there whenever I needed him. Whether I had come home after a few drinks and decided I needed to jump on his back, or whether he was quietly watching me work, he was always there for me. He will always be with me, I will never forget him, I feel lost without him.

Rest in peace, my Bernie.

As I read this page back now 7 months after you have gone ... my heart still aches in just the same way, the tears still fall just as easily, and I miss you just as much as I did the day you left. I feel I have a little more understanding of why you had to go, and every day that CR continues on in your name, I am thankful for you looking over us. Now you're not alone, you have Mary by your side, and you're both there watching over us.

 
 

 

 

 

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